Are You A Loser?

Okay, so this is the deal. Posting with a negative attitude or whining is just not what ne-deja-vu is about. Fresh, upbeat ideas are preferable, but I’m not such a Pollyanna that I can’t address a serious issue. Fact is, a few topics I’m passionate about, just didn’t seem to mesh with my theme here on ne-deja-vu. Since the motto here is about not giving up; and offering solutions not complaints, I’m applying that attitude to these more sensitive subjects.

That being said, let me jump right in.

A sentiment becoming all too prevalent these days is, “I was sorry to hear you lost your job.” or “Did you hear about Sally? I heard she lost her job. Poor thing.” Wow, I never knew Sally was a loser. Yep, they just said Sally’s…a loser.

Now wait just a blessed minute! Losing something implies irresponsibility, as if it were your fault you couldn’t keep a hold of it. Did you fumble it like a football? You must not have cared too much to keep track of it. Did you misplace it like you do your car keys, your wallet or cell phone? So how do you just “lose” your job? Losing anything is sad, depressing and compels pity. What a “loser”! I guess you must have accidentally dropped it while walking down the street. It was just an “accident”. There’s no one to blame… except yourself. To lose, is commonplace; matter of fact; pitiful and humiliating. It’s passive, benign and doesn’t assign any real emotional value. You might as well have lost your cat! You poor thing. But then you must not have been taking very good care of it. Is that really how it feels?

No. Hell no! Let’s give it a proper, more accurate term. A description befitting the action like, getting cut, canned, chopped, slashed, fired, or told to hit the road. Or you could have been sacked, given your walking papers, burned or bumped.

So, why do they say they are really sorry to “lose” you? They are really going to miss you and they’ll really feel the impact without your contribution. Geez, I’m almost starting feel sorry for them! See how they have shifted the burden of blame and pity? How can you get angry with someone you feel sorry for? After all, all they did was “let you go”. That’s not so bad. You could have been “axed”! Now there’s an accurate term. That would piss me off! Something as radical as being “terminated”, deserves an equally appropriate emotion. Get mad. Become irate, angry and upset. You aren’t pitiful or irresponsible. Let’s call it what it is! If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s not a frickin’ SWAN!

So, they “let you go”. If they are firing you, the last thing they want to do is make you mad. It just wouldn’t be HR correct. No, instead they tell you…you’re a l-o-s-e-r! You must have wanted to quit, so they simply granted your wish. Now do you feel powerful, strong and confident or less?

Our self-worth is not theirs to take. So, look them in the eye and make damn sure they know that! Demand they take responsibility for “firing” you. Don’t let them shift the blame to you for not being able to hold on to your job! How many sad, pitiful people do you know ever accomplished anything? It’s the ones who hold on to their dignity, self-worth and confidence that do. Who is more likely to be hired, the sad, pitiful loser or the confident one who knows their value?

Remember… they didn’t just “let” you go!, They FIRED you.

Boomer Bird's Empty Nest

This may even be the conception of Ne-deja-vu, at least, most appropriate. Although, the nest isn’t empty quite yet, it has been on the brink for some time. And certainly has crossed my mind only a dozen times or so a day! The ultimate re-purpose, renew and recycle project we can undertake, is that of our own lives.

Let’s talk major life events. If you ask anyone to name the milestones that have made a life’s journey, there will be trip down memory lane and a lot of laughter. Until you get to that bitter sweet event of your children’s departure from home. The fledglings taking flight, soaring off to make their own adventures and memories. Speaking from my own perspective, I find it horrifying, sad and exciting all at once. Horrifying as to the unknown dangers and heartbreaks they will suffer along their journey. Sad, simply in the absence of their voice and spirit that filled your space. As well as the excitement and anticipation you know they are feeling, striking out to design their destiny. In part a vicarious thrill and the foreboding of impending doom! Yes! Now I remember. That’s exactly what it felt like to take that defiant leap!

An empty nest isn’t the only reason to define a new personal purpose. If you haven’t redefined your purpose before, you’ll find it an absolute necessity at this juncture. The mid life crisis usually occurs sooner while the kids are still a little younger, and appears to be a preparation for the actual empty nest. The only thing middle age crazy really accomplishes, is to thoroughly embarrass your teenagers and humiliate yourself.

So, now here you are faced with that age old question, “So now what?” Not to worry, there is an answer. I’ll help explore the possibilities. And don’t feel sorry for yourself. You have not been left behind. You have been provided the same opportunity as those teenagers who couldn’t wait to take off. Off on an adventure, they have left you to yours. Let’s see what lies ahead together.

Empty Nesters, especially in the Baby Boomer generation is a phenomenon that cannot be summed up in one short post. So, I will talk about it from time to time as relevant subjects come to light.

The PC Flu!

Although it has been a while since I lasted posted, you all were certainly not far from my thoughts. During my absence, I had an unwelcome visitor. You may have had the same or similar visitor and you definitely can’t call it a “guest”. Mine went by the name of System Security Malware/Spyware. Yep. One big, ugly virus visitor that set up residence on my PC!

But as you see, we’re alive and well. Now for those of you who are already familiar with my PC “guest” and have “been there, done that”, my apologizes. Please indulge the rest of virus “virgins” to enlighten and educate ourselves.

This big, mean, hairy monster lives and hides in the dark corners of the web disguised as Free Downloads, just waiting for you to succumb to your greed. This is no scare tactic. The threat is real. But there is no reason to dump your PC and start over, or spend an arm and a leg and first born to fix.

Here are a few tips to get you back to PC heaven and web browsing dreams. I will make this in the plain speech required for “moi” to understand. You know, Virus 101 for Dummies!

Step one : Don’t Panic!

Step Two : Check to make sure you have up to date Anti-virus software like AVG currently running, scanning and zapping any threats. You can do this by clicking on your Control Panel on your desk top, then access your Security Center. It will list 3 important items-

• Firewall
  
• Automatic Updates
• Virus Protection
  

Next to each is an Indicator button. They should all say ON and be GREEN. If any are Red and OFF then you need to get busy and see why. If one is red, there should be a link below which reads-Recommendations. Click it and follow the prompts.

It may be that your Virus Protection is out of date, as was the case with mine. Hence, I unwittingly downloaded the dreaded malware/spyware-System Security. Make no mistake about it, this program is intense and is not messing around. You cannot delete it and it will steal all your personal data.

Step Three : Immediately access Microsoft.com. I cannot stress enough to not waste time with other cute do-it-yourself remedies. Once on Microsoft’s web site, scroll to Downloads on the Menu, then to Security and Updates. There you have the option to Download Security Updates. Click it and there are a few different downloads to choose from. Or go directly to this link: http://www.microsoft.com/protect/products/computer/default.mspx

You’ll see these, as well as other downloads available:

• Microsoft Live One-Care
• Windows Defender
• Malicious Software Removal Tool
• Windows Steady State (returns your PC to default settings)

A few negative comments had been made about Windows Defender, and I not being truly informed about this program, chose not to select it. My natural inclination was to select the Malicious Software Removal Tool, which I did. This was not successful, however. You can call me paranoid, but I swear that malware knew that I was trying to “kill” it! It kept killing my page as soon as I loaded it. So, I went through to a different page and accessed the Microsoft Live One-Care and clicked download as quickly as I could.
Hints: When I Googled “System Security” I found dozens of links, blog posts and products claiming to eradicate it, for the small price of 49.95! Don’t be fooled by the FREE Scanning promo. The scan is Free. Cleaning your PC and removing the malware will cost you. The exception to this and the only one I can absolutely recommend is a Microsoft product. After all, it’s their baby. With Live One-Care you CAN purchase the software or you can take the Free Trial for 90 days. After that, you willneed to purchase the on going system or another one like it.

It’s not the only reputable Anti-Virus Software available, but it was the only one I felt sure about, and the removal tool is free. The ongoing Anti-Virus system will cost you no matter what.

I’m glad I went with the 90 day trial because I have some compatibility issues with my Firefox browser. So, I have that time to see if I can make them work together. If not, I will go back to AVG or another good software.

If you would like more info or have questions, please feel free to email me directly.

Have a PCful night!

Get Ready, Get Set....Sell!

Now is a great time for a yard sale. Pre Spring cleaning. Spring is just too far away for me. I need the clutter gone now to relieve my claustrophobic, cabin fever. It’s true, we are blessed with wonderful winter weather, in the mid 60’s. But even in colder climates it’s possible to have a successful and fun event. Here are a few tips to ensure a worthwhile sale.

1. As I mentioned before, this should involve the whole family. It really is a chore if left to one person to orchestrate and execute. So, pick a Saturday prior to your sale date. Collect some good sized boxes if you don’t already have some. Everyone should have 2 boxes (and a trash bin). Each person sifts and sorts through his or her own stuff. Share and decide together on family items in the common areas (family room, living room) of the house. 1 box is for keepsakes (not to sell, but not wanted in the room now-can be stored in the garage). 1 box is for the sale and 1 for the trash.

2. Then everyone gets to go to the garage and go through what is already stored there. It will be a little like Christmas, when you open a box and go “Oh look! I forgot all about this! It was so cute…” Lots of fun and laughs for everyone. And don’t forget to photo journal your preparations.

3. Pack all the keepsakes back neatly and stack away. Separate the sale items into departments, ie; tools, books, cloths, cd’s, toys, games, household, linens, etc.

4. Pricing can be a tricky issue. Many people just feel their stuff is worth more than it is. The only things that should be priced more than$5 are verifiable collectors items, electronics, some power tools, appliances, furniture, china, silver. You can put a pricier item out for sale, but be realistic. Most people don’t yard sale for pricey items unless they are a collector or dealer. Nice Men’s or Women’s suits shouldn’t go for more than $10 and other clothing items usually not over a $1. (You can price items a little higher and encourage ‘haggling’).

5. Display your items for easy visibility. If you can, run a close line for all hanging clothes, jackets and dresses, etc. Any small appliances or electronics should be plugged in to a power source. People will buy something if they are able to see it working. Group like items, and for time saving and marketability, place one sale sign. All books .50 cents each or 4 for a $1; craft supplies .25 cents each or ‘baggie’ for $2.00. You may also make a deal for all of something, like the whole bag of sewing materials and notions for $10.

Here a few added tips for the day of the sale:

Roll out of the sack EARLY! People start coming the sales at daybreak.

Place your signs for good visibility and make sure you can read them from a distance.

Make sure all family members participate and they are compensated. They should profit if they sell items of their own. But you might want to make it a family reward, like the new HD Plasma TV you’ve been saving for or towards your family vacation.

Get a little healthy competition going. Take shifts ‘on the floor’ so to speak, while others get a break. Whoever sells the most on their shift, gets a bonus or commission.

Offer muffins and Hot Cocoa. (Be sensitive to your local ordinances against selling food products.)

Remember I said the folks in areas of snow and other extreme winter weather wouldn’t get off the hook? You can still have your sale, but make it comfortable too. Gather with neighbors or members of your local congregation, to hold a winter bizarre at the church. There you & your customers would stay warm and dry and you would surely be able to offer food, etc without a problem.

Remember, also, to contact your local City Hall and arrange for a permit if required. If they do, fees are usually nominal, like $10 and they give you pre-made signs to post.

The remaining items left unsold can either be brought back inside still used or can be donated to the Red Cross, Goodwill, etc.

Now it’s time to see what you’ve accomplished. WOW!

1. You cleaned your house of absolutely all the clutter! (It’s time to get more stuff.)

2. You earned your family a good wad of cash.

3. You recycled absolutely everything.

4. You provided those less fortunate, needed items.

5. You had a ball reminiscing with your family and taught the kids some lessons and tools.

You’re awesome!

P.S. Be a good neighbor, as well and remember to take your signs down.

Renew The Spirit of Recycling

Yep, it’s that time again. Why now? There are so many reasons, I don’t know where to start. If it’s not one of your priorities, you don’t even have to put recycling on the list. But, whatever your New Years resolution may be, I bet having a yard sale will be an excellent start. For example:

1) You got a new work out gym for Christmas and getting in shape is your resolution. (Hello! You need a place to put that monstrosity-CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE).

2. You’re getting organized as a resolution. You need storage space. CLEAN OUT THE OFFICE AND THE GARAGE.

3. You’ve promised to work on all those honey do’s-CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE.

(Okay, enough of that)

4. You got a new home office for Christmas. (Don’t you dare throw your old monitor & keyboard, printer-whatever, in the garbage. HAVE A YARD SALE

5. You are finally going to finish all those sewing projects, but you can’t find anything. HAVE A YARD SALE.

6. You spent more than you planned for Christmas. HAVE A YARD SALE.

7. Remember we discussed starting fresh for the New Year? Getting rid of all the Christmas crap and clutter? HAVE A YARD SALE.

8. You want to be able to focus, think clearly and all of your unfinished chores have you distracted and feeling guilty? HAVE A YARD SALE

A yard sale is just what the doctor ordered. Just think of it as getting paid to do the chores you need to do anyway! You will solve all of these nagging issues, you’ll have a nice, clean organized space AND you will have made your contribution towards recycling. Now was that so bad?

Tomorrow I will break it down for you so it’s not as big or scary a job as you think. You might even have a little fun. By the way, this is a family project…kids, too. And you folks under 3 feet of snow are not off the hook entirely either.